My Biggest “Aha” (So Far)

Fitness enthusiast Henry Tseng recently died at the age of 111. When asked the key to his longevity he remarked, “Exercise regularly, smile every day, and chose not to worry.” That’s it — smile every day and don’t worry! In other words, live in the moment, or as Eckhart Tolle sums up perfectly in his classic The Power of Now:

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.

Make the now the primary focus of your life.”

If I were to pick my biggest “aha” from everything I’ve learned during my own journey of transformation, it would be the following: Being intensely focused on the present moment is not my default setting.

If this strikes close to home, this blog is for you!

Let go or be dragged

My second biggest “aha”? Making the now the primary focus requires letting go. That’s MUCH easier said than done, and it’s why I’ve written often about this critical skill. Letting go is one of my Six Essentials to GSD. It was instrumental in helping me get over my wall. And the ability to instantly let go is the superhero power I wish I had.

Letting go brings me back to the present moment where I’m grounded and “in the flow.” When I’m in that state I can access external and internal resources, especially my strengths. That, in turn, helps me make more optimal decisions while dramatically improving overall life satisfaction.

I recently started sharing “In the Moment” coaching tips on Instagram. Not surprisingly, letting go is one the topics I’ve touched on. In a recent post I noted that letting go is a process—it’s rarely “one and done” or a “straight line” from start to finish. Many times I make a commitment to let go and begin to take action—but then I find myself grabbing back the very thing I’m attempting to release! If that happens to you too, don’t judge yourself. Instead, simply look for another action you can take to let go.

A fun story

I recently began training at a gym near the Facebook campus in Menlo Park, California. I shared that news with a good friend who happens to work at Facebook. He graciously invited me to stop by Facebook after a workout for a post-recovery meal. As I was saying “thank you” to my friend my ITG (Insane Thought Generator) began asking me the following question: “Why don’t we work at a company that offers great tasting free food?” And just like that, I took a detour from the present moment.

My husband, who reviewed an early draft of this blog, suggested I also share my recent experience about buying a new car. That experience took me out of the present moment many times before, during, and after the purchase. I’m not ready to include that under the heading of “fun stories” yet—but I’m getting there!

Fresh ideas to return to the now

Below are a few things that help me come back to the present. If you’re looking for fresh ideas, give one (or more) of these a try!

  • Remember to HALT. Don’t get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. When we’re in one or more of those states, our Insane Thought Generator (ITG) loves to comes out to play. And our ITG loves to attach to something and send the DEFCON level to 1 (that’s the bad one, BTW). For me, becoming too tired is the one I have to be especially mindful of.

  • Pray and/or meditate. I like to mix up prayer and meditation. (Important note: the length of a prayer or meditation is not important. What is important is that you develop consistency in your practice.) Currently I’m using “micro prayers”, which are very short prayers I say throughout the day. For example, before walking into the gym I’ll close my eyes and say, “thank you for my health.” On the meditation front I’m doing short meditations focused on 2-3 minutes of stillness.

  • Make a gratitude list. If you’re not on board the gratitude express, please Google “benefits of gratitude” for a long list that includes improved self-esteem, better relationships, stronger physical health, and better sleep. Here’s the challenge: we forget about gratitude. It’s so easy to get caught up on the things we need to change—I’m guilty of this, too—that we forget what we’ve actually done. Sometimes I’ll stop and make a list of everything I’ve accomplished in the last 24 hours and simply say, “thank you.” The best part of gratitude? It’s free!

  • Do one of the following: love more, laugh more, give more. This is my ‘go to’ when I’m feeling anxious about a situation. Anxiety always takes me out of the present moment. The other thing about anxiety? It does not contribute to outcomes. What does contribute to outcomes is spreading love, finding someone to laugh with, or being helpful. As Maya Angelou reminds us, “If you get, give. If you learn, teach.”

I’ll close with one more important reminder: there is so very little in life that’s worth getting twisted up over! Often times just remembering that helps me release what I’m holding on to and come back to the gift of the present. I’m reminded of that gift by the beautiful hummingbird photo from Andrea Reiman on Unsplash and the legend of the hummingbird from Papryus:

“Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. Hummingbirds open our eyes to the wonder of the world and inspire us to open our hearts to loved ones and friends. Like a hummingbird, we aspire to hover and to savor each moment as it passes, embrace all that life has to offer and to celebrate the joy of everyday. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation.”

As always, thanks for stopping by! We hope you found this helpful, and I’d love to hear from you! You can email me at ben@thebenkikergroup.com, or connect with me via Instagram, Twitter or LinkedIn.

Ben Kiker