Five Actions to LET GO
Don't you love it when someone says, "You just need to let go of that" and your immediate thought is, "I'm going to punch you in the face?"
We all get the importance of letting go; it's the putting it into action that's tough – especially when we're in a cycle of repeatedly letting something go and then grabbing it back.
Each morning I answer a journal prompt that asks, "What do I want to let go of today?" As I was finalizing this month’s newsletter, I reviewed my answers to that prompt – and some key themes emerged:
Fears (too many to list here)
Regrets (ditto)
Scarcity or “not enough”
What others think of me
Needing to figure “it” out
Pressure to maximize every moment
If you can identify with one (or more) of those themes, keep reading!
Earlier this year I coached a group of leaders spearheading transformative change in their organization. Naturally, that change involved letting go. To help them (and me), I created a set of techniques corresponding to the letters in LET GO.
Listen to your body. It's tough to be holding onto something in our mind AND checking in with our body at the same time. One of my favorite techniques to drop into my body? I take off my shoes and socks, plant my feet firmly on the ground, and spread my toes as much as I can. With my eyes closed, I then trace a mental outline of my feet.
Exchange the future for the present. Often what we're holding onto is a desire for something that may (or may not) occur in the future. Exchanging a future unknown for something that IS known in the present is a great way to redirect your attention.
Think about how important it really is. As my amazing coach and longtime therapist Joni Lavick has often reminded me, there's so very little in life that's worth getting twisted up over. I've also learned that letting go can occur when I allow something to resolve itself without my intervention. (My ego does NOT like that realization.)
Get some gratitude. Write down three things you're grateful for, along with the actions you'll take to express that gratitude. For example, if you’re grateful for a specific person – let’s say a spouse, a friend, or a colleague – write why you’re grateful for them on a Post-it note – and then leave the note it in a place they’ll find it (or snap a pic and text it).
Open to more options. Our field of vision dramatically contracts when we're holding on too tight. By hitting pause and pulling up, we can determine if there are additional options to consider.
I’ll close with this beautiful quote on letting go from beloved Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron:
“It was all about letting go of everything.”
The actions we take – and those we don't – all represent energy. The benefit of loosening our grip and letting go is that we're able to redirect energy into a thought or action that replenishes us. With a tiny (but growing) bit of perspective from the challenges we all experienced over the last year, Pema’s quote has inspired me to continue my personal journey of letting go of everything that's no longer helpful. I hope it does for you, too.
And remember, if you don’t want to let go you can always choose to be dragged. Just put a time limit on the dragging, and come back to LET GO when you’re ready!