Shrieking Monkeys
Last weekend we watched the latest Superman film. It was the perfect film to wash away the residue of disappointment from the recent Naked Gun reboot.
Halfway through the film Lex Luthor is transporting Superman to a prison inside of a pocket universe. As they enter the prison they pass a row of angry, shrieking monkeys typing away on keyboards. Lex Luthor explains, “And here are my monkey bots, farming outrage 24/7 and trashing you online.”
Finally our hero has uncovered who’s been posting messages with the hashtag #supershit!
I realized watching that scene that there are days when I want to be a screaming monkey bot. Not all day. Just a solid 15 or 20 minutes before returning to the grounded, regulated Ben writing this newsletter.
When that moment hits, here are my three go-to practices to avoid joining Lex Luthor’s team of hard working monkey bots:
Write it but don’t post it.
When the pull to shrieking monkey bot land is strong and I’m having a hard time pausing, I open my email and write a draft of the brilliant burn I've crafted in my head. And then I let the draft sit there. (I have many drafts of social media posts I wrote but did not publish.) This is the most effective technique I’ve found for getting grounded again.
Embrace “Yes, and.”
The path to monkey bot land is paved with dualistic thinking: I am right, and they are wrong. As Richard Rohr notes, “The dualistic mind reads realities in simple binaries—good and bad, right and wrong—and thinks itself smart because it chooses one side. This is getting us nowhere.” Using “Yes, and” helps me soften my dualistic thinking by acknowledging someone’s point of view while adding my perspective.
Donate time and money.
According to the nonprofit organization Gun Violence Archives, there were 1,965 mass shooting events – defined as a minimum of four people shot – between 2021 and 2023. Although gun violence is a complex issue, two themes emerge from these heart-wrenching stories. First, guns are generally easy to get. Second, mental healthcare is generally hard to get. That’s why I donate time and money to organizations working to provide greater access to mental healthcare and to organizations focused on reducing gun violence.
The three actions I noted above also help me pause, pull up, and remember two things:
First, we all have a responsibility to turn down the volume – even when those around us, and our elected officials, are not. Let’s model the way for each other and especially for young people.
Second, how important is it (i.e. the angry post), really? This is tough, because my ego – which has had a lifetime of employment – considers that one post to be my magnum opus.
I’ll close by sharing that I do not do the above perfectly. I get defensive. I get a little snarky. I lash out. But I’ve also gotten a bit better at cleaning up my not-so-shiny moments faster and hopefully exhibiting grace to others (and to myself). I hope what I’ve shared helps you do that, too. And if you have a practice that helps you avoid shrieking monkey bot land, I’d love to hear it. Let’s learn and grow together.