10 Ideas I Recently Shared with Clients
Here's the reaction I love hearing when I share an idea with a client during a 1:1 jam session or during group coaching:
"Hold on, Ben. Say that one more time. I need to write that one down!"
I thought y'all might be interested in hearing the ideas that generate that response, too. Over the last month I've been noting those ideas, and I've curated this top 10 list.
1. What will help you and your team put a giant exclamation point on 2023?
I'm asking this question in every client meeting because there's really only a handful of initiatives that are essential to complete by year-end. Identify those 3-5 'big rocks' now and you'll stay on track for the year -- and enter 2024 with incredible momentum.
2. You can have a sweaty five minute conversation now -- or have a painful five hour conversation later.
"If you had just shared it with me two weeks ago I wouldn't have liked it -- but I wouldn't have the reaction I had last night." A good reminder from my husband that avoiding the sweaty five minute conversation -- which I recently did -- results in a much longer (and more painful) conversation later.
3. Is it a fact -- or a story?
We all have an Insane Thought Generator, that part of us that deals in the manufacture and delivery of unhelpful stories not based in fact. Nearly every time a client reaches out for In the Moment coaching they're doing so because they've been hijacked by one of these stories. Pausing, pulling up, and asking if you're attached to facts -- or a story -- is one of the best practices for getting unstuck.
4. Don't let the stories you tell yourself about someone get in the way of knowing them.
Speaking of stories, I can think of three recent experiences where the narrative I created about someone put distance between me and that person. Guess what happened when I began to let go of that story? I made a meaningful connection.
5. How did you learn and grow?
Are you wrapping up a big project? Leaving one role and starting another? Getting back on track after experiencing a personal setback? Take time to answer these three questions: what worked, what didn't work, and what you'll you do differently next time. They'll help you learn and grow. And then you'll be able to help someone else learn and grow, too.
6. What are you optimizing for?
One of my all time favorite questions is the one we nearly always skip when making decisions. Whatever your decision making process, make sure it starts with this question. I promise you'll get a better outcome.
7. It's natural to want to be wanted during a job search, but in this job market no one feels wanted.
According a recent Wall Street Journal article, "Employers are slow-walking candidates, piling on new requirements ranging from years of experience to higher scores on technical tests, to running prospective hires through additional rounds of interviews." With that context, remember to focus on what you can control during your search.
8. What pulls you into trance?
We all have something that pulls us into a trance, the state where we become singularly focused and lose perspective. When I help clients identify what pulls them into trance it's often their thinking. As Eckhart Tolle commented, "The biggest thing we need to let go of is our thinking. We over-identify with it." Learn how to identify and break your trance.
9. The first and last hours are the two most important hours of the day.
How you do your morning is how you do your day. If you start by lunging for your phone to check texts and emails, you'll be lunging all day long. (Plus texts and emails are just action items created for you by others.) Do you go to bed thinking about what you did not get done that day? You're setting yourself up to wake up in a deficit mindset. Here's one way to start your day.
10. Fly your flag proudly -- and have a sense of humor about it all.
A client recently sent me a snap of their refrigerator door with the magnetic letters arranged in a super cute way. As I studied the photo I noticed a little magnet in the upper right corner of the door. When I expanded the image the magnet read,"You will be too much for some people. Those are not your people." After half a century on Earth School I'm finally comfortable with the fact that I have an active ingredient. And it is NOT for everyone!