Anxiety Does Not Contribute to Outcomes
Last month I delivered a workshop titled Leading During Uncertainty. The goal? Staying present to make optimal decisions while leading through the uncertainty connected to business and organization transformation.
At one point I mentioned, “Anxiety does not contribute to outcomes.” In unison several people raised their hand and asked, “Can you repeat that?”
I suspect my presentation-stopping statement hit home with the audience because we all seem to be experiencing peak anxiety!
Anxiety 101
Let’s start with a quick definition: Anxiety is “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.”
Just about everything has an uncertain outcome except, as Benjamin Franklin famously noted, death and taxes! When we’re anxious about something we often begin asking, “What if?” That’s a typical response because we’re trying to seek certainty in an uncertain world—and we believe we can “what if” our way through it.
My friend and colleague Dr. Noah Laracy just recorded an excellent podcast on this topic. (Noah introduces himself by saying, “I come from a long line of worriers.”) He shared something about “what if” questions that was a big ah-hah for me: When we begin a thought with “what if,” our brain has to come up with something! The challenge: “what if” questions can lead to more “what if” questions which leads to—you guessed it—more anxiety.
Think about the last time you were anxious. There’s a good chance you tried to either ignore it, buy into it, or resist it. (I’m prone to resistance with the occasional buying into it.) Unfortunately each of these options gives more power to our anxiety—and keeps us stuck.
Try This Instead
When I begin working with a client, one of the first things I share is a simple yet powerful mindfulness exercise: hit the pause button and pull up. Hitting pause is one of the single most important techniques for navigating in a world of accelerated interruption and disruption. This technique creates psychological distance between us and our (often negative and obsessive) thinking. That distance provides the space to help us shift our perspective about whatever is causing us to be ungrounded, unregulated, and not “in the flow.”
The next time you’re anxious, hit the pause button, pull up, and acknowledge:
1) I’m anxious about an uncertain situation.
2) Being anxious is not going to make the situation any more certain.
3) Action(s) I can take that can contribute to an outcome.
Here are three ‘go to’ actions I take that are guaranteed to contribute to outcomes.
1. List three things you’re grateful for. A gratitude list brings us back to the present moment to what is real. In that moment we can find an “anchor for action” that helps us move forward. Many of my “anchors for action” involve fitness and movement. For example, if I’m grateful for the cool weather during my morning walks with Rocket, our Portuguese Water Dog, I’ll get up from my desk and head outside.
2. Use a mantra. For me, anxiety is often connected to a feeling that I’m not doing enough with my business—a common challenge for solopreneurs. When this happens I’ll say “I am making progress” while reflecting on what I accomplished over the last 48 hours. (That list is always longer than I expect!). As happiness expert and fellow native Texan Shawn Achor noted, mantras help us "turn our brains into noise cancelling headphones. Saying the same thing over and over again quiets the negativity."
3. Call someone and ask how they’re doing. I recently attended a presentation on our addiction to “fast and faster” by author and psychologist Dr. Stephanie Brown. Stephanie shared a phrase I loved—devotion to technology—and how that devotion decreases the need for one-on-one human interaction. That reminded me that my anxiety levels always fall when I reach out to someone! Shortly after Stephanie’s presentation I checked in with a friend who answered with, “I’m glad you called. I’m having a micro pity party over here.” In that moment her anxiety lessened, and mine did, too.
One final shoutout: big thanks to Joni Lavick for guiding me to a deeper understanding of anxiety. Joni introduced me to the concept anxiety does not contribute to outcomes, and through our work together I've gained many new resources for managing anxiety. Joni is an incredibly talented therapist, coach, and collaborator who definitely knows how to GSD. I'm grateful to have her in my corner!
I’ll close with a reminder that there are two things we truly control: our attitude and our actions. We can’t completely eliminate anxiety, but we can control our reaction to it. And the greatest antidote to anxiety is to take an action—even a small one!
As always, thanks for stopping by! I hope you found this helpful, and I’d love to hear from you! You can email me at ben@thebenkikergroup.com, or connect with me via Instagram, Twitter or LinkedIn.
Thanks also to Jose Ruales on Unsplash for the photo used in this blog!